Official Notice of Vacancy
WE ARE HIRING. No experience required. No motivation preferred.
Candidates are assessed against a single criterion: the complete absence of ambition. Registrations are reviewed by a desk that does not exist and acknowledged without delay.
Reference: ND-RECRUIT-0001. Status: open indefinitely.
Form 1-A: Registration
Employment registration
Complete all fields that apply. Incomplete forms are filed in full. Submission constitutes acceptance of the terms of non-employment.
Marketing consent is optional and will be recorded as declined unless stated otherwise.
Security clearance: none
Unfortunately, you've been hired.
Form 1-B: Credential
Your official Employee ID
Each appointed officer is issued a unique identification number verifying a productivity level of zero. Credentials will be dispatched automatically as PDF and email in a future release.
Automated generation: pending. Manual issuance remains the procedure of record.
NOTHING DEPARTMENT · Employee ID
Name: ______________________
Unique number: ND-000001
Position: Junior Nothing Officer
Department: Department of Human Inactivity
0%
Productivity